Dear “Robin，”

　　亲爱的Robin，

　　Nothing in my career in medicine has prepared me for being a friend to someone with such a terrible disease.  As a doctor I dispense advice on a daily basis， but those interactions remain strangely impersonal.  With you， cancer has invaded our inner circle， and we all share your shock and despair.

　　虽然我从事医疗工作，但没有任何培训帮助我和一个得了如此可怕的疾病的人交朋友。作为医生我每天都给很多的忠告建议，但这些都陌生、并不个性化。对于您，癌症侵入我们的核心圈子，我们与您一样感到震惊和绝望。

　　No one can know exactly what it feels like to be facing serious cancer， unless they have been through it themselves.  Your doctors will not know， the rest of your family will not know， neither will your friends.  So please forgive us if we do not understand or get things wrong.  It is as much a learning process for us as it is for you.

　　当面对癌症的时候，没有人能够感同身受，除非他真正经历过。医生不能，家人不能，同样朋友也不能。所以，如果我们不理解或者误解了什么，请原谅。对于你和我们来说都是一个学习的过程。

　　But there is a vast resource out there of people fighting the same disease who do know what you are going through now and will have to battle in the future， and I suggest you get in touch with them.  ACOR.org is a good starting point.  You will find a wealth of knowledge here that most of your doctors will not have at their fingertips.  The contributors do so voluntarily， are available all the time， know all the latest advances in treatment， and will not fob you off when you ask difficult or “silly” questions.  These folk can become friends together in crisis in a way that we cannot be.  Use them.  I know they will welcome you with open arms.

　　不过，在外部，有一个庞大的人群，他们正在与同样的疾病作战，他们知道你现在和将来与病魔的斗争中会经历什么，我建议你与他们取得联系。ACOR.ORG网站是一个很好的起点。你将发现大量有用的知识，很多知识连你的医生也不会马上知道。这些都是由一群志愿者提供，他们随时在线，了解最新的治疗进展，你不会因为问及困难或者所谓的傻问题被搪塞。他们能够彼此成为朋友，共同面对困境，而我们做不到。利用这些平台，我知道他们会张开双臂欢迎你。

　　Get to know your disease from reputable sources.  Being forewarned is being forearmed.  You can react to new situations earlier， giving your doctors better chance of helping you through crises.

　　从可靠的来源了解您的疾病。凡事预则立。有助于尽早了解新状况并作出反应，以便医生更好地帮您渡过危机。

　　You probably have already looked at the survival statistics of your cancer.  I agree they are frightening.  But figures alone do not tell the whole story.  No one knows exactly what is going to happen with you.  Don‘t let the figures get you down.  Take one day at a time while you fight this disease， be grateful for each completed day， look forward to the next one.  Remain positive.  Your state of mind alone can make the difference in being in the percentage of people who survive.

　　你可能已经看过关于所患癌症的生存数据。我同意这些数据很吓人。但是数据本身并不能说明全部。没有人确切地知道在你身上会发生什么。不要让这些数据击垮你。当你和病痛做斗争的时候，不时心存感激，感恩你度过的每一天，并期待新的一天开始。保持积极乐观。你独有的精神状态能够使你的生存几率有所不同。

　　If I had your diagnosis， this is what I would do.

　　如果我得了和你一样的病，我将会做下面这些：

　　I would organize my life while I am still fit， making sure my will and business dealings are all sorted out so that I do not need to worry about difficult decisions while I am unwell.

　　我会在身体还不错的时候安排好我的生活，确保我的遗嘱和业务往来都妥当处理，这样，我不需要在自己身体不行的时候，还得担心做出艰难的决定。

　　I would prepare letters or video presentations for my kids for important events in their lives – graduations， 21st birthday parties， weddings.  At the same time， I would make it my goal to try to be there for the earliest celebrations.  Having goals like that would help me push through the rough times.  If not， I would be there in person for them with a message as real at the time as at the day it is recorded.  I know my family would be fine – my friends and other people important to me would make certain of that.

　　我将准备信件或者视频给我的孩子，为他们预祝生活中的重要时刻，例如毕业，21岁的生日，结婚典礼。与此同时，我将能够尽量参加最早的庆典作为我的目标。拥有这样的目标能让我度过艰难的时光。如果不能，我将在那天特别出现，通过预先录制的信息真实、亲切的出席。我知道我的家人会很好，我的朋友们和其他对我很重要的人都会尽力保证这点。

　　I would keep a journal， noting my fears， angers， insecurities， tribulations and triumphs.  I would record my goals here， and celebrate each one as it is reached.  I would go back to the earlier records regularly and see how far I have come， and how my responses to the disease have changed.

　　我将会坚持写日记，记录我的恐惧、愤怒、不安、艰难和成就。我将把我的目标记录下来，庆祝每一个我实现的目标。我将定期回顾以前的记录看自己已经走了多远，以及对于病痛的反应发生了什么变化。

　　I would do the things I have always wanted to do while I am able.  Skydive， bungy jump， go on a cruise.  Start writing a book.  Stop putting off doing things that seemed too selfish.  Live my life a bit more， but involve my family so that we create memories together.  I would make my marriage the best that I could with whatever time I have left.

　　我将在身体还可以的时候去做自己一直想做的事情，跳伞，蹦极，豪华邮轮旅行。开始写一本书。不再推迟做那些看起来有些自私的事情。更多的活在我自己的生活里，但是要让我的家人参与，以便我们一起创造更多的回忆。无论我的时间还剩下多少，我将使我的婚姻做到最好。

　　I would answer to the best of my ability any questions I have about life， death and spirituality， seeking help and advice where I need it.

　　我将尽我所能地回答任何所及关于生命、死亡、灵魂的问题，如需要主动寻求帮助和忠告。

　　And then I would get on with my life， living it as normally as I could.

　　我将继续我的生活，尽可能保持正常。

　　Robin， cancer does not define you.  You are not your disease.  It may take its toll， but there is no shame in it， no reason to hide.

　　ROBIN，癌症不能定义你，你不是你的疾病。疾病可能导致死亡，但患病不是可耻的，没有理由需要隐瞒，

　　I do know this.  Many people fighting serious disease live more complete and meaningful lives with the time they have left than people who live to old age. They leave a legacy behind that we all should learn from and try to copy.  I know you will do the same.

　　我确信这样。比起那些活到老善终的人们，很多人在他们与严重的疾病做斗争的剩余生命中，过着更加完整和有意义的生活。他们留下了很多传奇，值得我们大家学习和复制。我知道你可以做到。

　　With love，

　　爱你

　　Martin

　　Martin Young is an otolaryngologist and founder and CEO of ConsentCare.

　　马丁，杨是一名耳鼻喉专家以及CONSNETCARE机构的创始人和CEO

　　写在后面的：

　　在美国，癌症患者力求保持一个正常人的生活，例如他们仍然会愿意去工作或者学习，很多癌症患者长期与病魔做斗争，而把癌症当做一种慢性病来对待。他们会按照医生的建议定期去做检查，到门诊去做放疗或者化疗，而不是住院。很高兴这样的方式和方法已经开始被国人所接受，因为很幸运和睦家医院开启了这扇门，2010年5月落成的和睦家启望肿瘤中心，将西方的癌症治疗理念带入中国，这里有来自北美知名的外籍专家，这里有来自国内三甲医院的资深团队。我们衷心期盼每一个人健康幸福，永远都不要来到这里，但是我们也愿意请你知道，有一支优秀的团队愿意帮助你与病魔战斗到底。仍然会愿意去工作或者学习，很多癌症患者长期与病魔做斗争，而把癌症当做一种慢性病来对待。他们会按照医生的建议定期去做检查，到门诊去做放疗或者化疗，而不是住院。很高兴这样的方式和方法已经开始被国人所接受，因为很幸运和睦家医院开启了这扇门，2010年5月落成的和睦家启望肿瘤中心，将西方的癌症治疗理念带入中国，这里有来自北美知名的外籍专家，这里有来自国内三甲医院的资深团队。我们衷心期盼每一个人健康幸福，永远都不要来到这里，但是我们也愿意请你知道，有一支优秀的团队愿意帮助你与病魔战斗到底。